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Before becoming a coach in the QMJHL, AHL and NHL, Pat Burns was a policeman near Ottawa.  Is he preparing his 3rd career as a stand-up comic?

Invited to comment on an article from a Toronto newspaper that pointed out that after losing the World Cup against the American team, Canadians Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier and Paul Coffey went to Chez Parée (a strip club near Molson Center), Pat Burns said:

"They can do what they want after games. It's nobody's business as long as they weren't there between the 2nd and 3rd period"

September 20, 1996
Explaining why he moved Jason Allison off the team’s top line, the Bruins’ coach says:

"There are three things that are sure. You're going to pay taxes, you're going to die, and I'm going to change the lines."

April 1999
Early in a playoff series against the Buffalo Sabres, the Bruins coach is irritated at all the comments about how strong Sabres goalie Dominic Hasek is and says:

"I think he let some goals in this year. His goals-against average was not 0.00."

May 7, 1999
Referring to the long-standing tradition of throwing octopus on the ice in Detroit, the Bruins coach remembers:

"I got hit with an octopus in Detroit one time. ''It was the most gross thing I've ever had happen. I got it right in the back of the neck; all the juice was coming down. It was awful."

Early May 1999
When he was hired as coach by the Boston Bruins :

"Coaching the Bruins is like going bear hunting with a butter knife"

Journalists ask Pat Burns to comment on the incident where Latrell Sprewell of the the NBA tried to strangle his coach :

"If one of my players ever wants to hit me, he better do it really hard because otherwise, I’ll find a rock, a stick, or a piece of wood and believe me, it’s gonna be a brawl..."

A reporter asks the coach where is the exercise room in the hotel where they are :

"You’re asking me where the exercise room is??"

Late-February 1997
The Bruins’ coach when people suggested that he might win his 3rd coach-of-the-year award that season :

"Naw, they give you only $1,200 for that."

Mid-October 1997
The Bruins coach on Jason Allison, who’s not known for getting involved in fights, taking on Phoenix star Keith Tkachuk:

"Idon’t mind if he fights Tkachuk. I don’t want him fighting bozos. If he’s going to fight, fight the Tkachuks, fight the Roenicks, but don’t bother with these Quint guys and these Doan guys."

Early March 1999


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